Come along with us on a journey across Time…
…to an age before anyone was Fully Online.
A time when strange languages (HTML 4) echoed across a landscape strewn to every corner with the carcasses of fallen Internet Explorers.
A time even before the Great Drafting of the Book of Faces.
This was the Dark Epoch, a tortured and baleful age, when people and brands battled for space Online, screaming untethered into the Void.
Some of them even read the Comments.
It was only when Hope seemed lost, and all light had faded, that She descended.
Her name was Linney, who was also called the Teller, Unvarnished, and Lorebringer. Scholars say She came from a place across time itself, beyond even the 405-10 interchange, from a homeworld known to astronomers as Ana-58R. Its people were wise and kind, and from their gift of knowing the bare truth of things had cultivated the ability to tell authentic stories.
“It’s either real or it’s not,” Linney would say. “Tell, and the rest will know.”
And as Linney taught us, we taught others: Singers and Sportsmen, Marketers and Merchants. One by one, stories spread far and wide, preserving the legacy of those who told them, that others would know their Truth. The earliest believers saw their Followings multiply, and even those who once denied the power of Online now rejoice in Extreme Virality, baby.
Each one of our stories traces its descent back to Linney. May we continue to prove worthy of She who shaped us in Her weird-ass, robot with a brain for some reason image.